Dead Girl Study: Alyssa Mae Noceda; Lynnwood, Washington, February 8, 2018
Streak of light slashing
the filter veiling
her perfectly dis-
enchanted expression—there’s no doubt
she’s a beauty
behind the wheel
of a car, fingers pointing/
resting on her right temple; strong-
arched eyebrows; thick-lashed Bambi stare,
the pout pinked
just enough, so barely
parted, a sigh
mightn’t even escape
their lushness—this image isn’t her
But because under the headline
“New Details About The Teen Who Sent
Photos Of A Dying Girl To His Friends
Before Sexually Assaulting Her As She
Passed Away,” this image is squared,
Alyssa Mae Noceda
now fixates doubly into infinity, as in
of the gazed upon
& the one gazing.
Rape & homicide.
The article does
not share the shots
Brian Varela took of her
dying. Which he. Sent to friends.
With a message
shrugging off her. Overdose.
In that condition he. Fucked her.
because he. Was “Too tired.”
Went to work at Dairy
Queen. But planned
to bury her.
When he. Got.
with her thumb
once he. Realized
she’d died so that he. Might
Snapchat a message from
suggesting she was running away
then ditched her
phone in the woods.
The article does, however, include a picture
of Varela sandwiched between the paragraphs detailing his.
He. Is taking
A flash emanates
from the device in his. Hand.
Laundry accumulates on the washer
behind him. A nightgown
or shirt hangs from a hook over a door.
He. Is wearing a black jacket
over a black shirt. As he. Is
into his. Phone, surveying
his. Look, his.
Eyes are downcast, the right
more shadowed than the left.
Noceda’s mother indicating
her daughter was missing.
to be smirking
during his. Hearing.
Noceda’s body found
crammed into a plastic
crate inside Varela’s mobile home.
& THC in
Noceda last seen alive
after 9 pm Saturday night.
Noceda dead by Sunday morning.
“LOL I think she
od’d, still breathing.
her to pass
the time,” was
what he. Texted
along with a pic
of her by then
swollen, blue lips.
Dead Girl Study: Lizette Cuesta; Dublin, California, February 13, 2018
Dead Girl Study: Natalie Bollinger; Adams County, Colorado, February 7, 2018
(poem borrows language from the article written by Kelly Weill)
I want to put a hit on myself, Natalie
Bollinger, 19 allegedly wrote (in the “women seeking
men” section of Craigslist, Broom-
field, Colorado). After Natalie’s boyfriend reported her—
and his Glock pistol—missing, her body
was found, downward-
angled, gun wound
to the back of the head, in a wooded area
of a dairy farm, her bloodstream saturated with heroin.
across country to see me… slept behind
my work for weeks, she posted just fourteen days
before her death, of a 42 year old man
she’d accused of stalking her. He’s sent emails for over a year
close everyday, harassing me. Making numerous account
until I block him again. Threatening
my family, telling me
himself in front of me,
Bollinger documented (but police ruled him out leaving
the teen’s loved ones to wonder
who wanted her
as a hit man,
Joseph Lopez answered. (Posing
as a hit man, Joseph Lopez answered. Posing
as a hit man, Joseph Lopez answered posing
as a hit man Joseph Lopez answered Joseph Lopez answered
Lopez, 22, said he replied to the ad, using a hit man persona.
her he said they prayed before
he shot her he picked her up from her apartment
tried to talk her out of
the plan (labret septum
(ying-yang Mandala tattoo on her right forearm)
they drove around looking
for a suitable—he
backed out—dropped her home in the remote
woods 111 messages between him
and Bollinger on December 28 the suspect-
ed day—he said
on his way to work at Domino’s Pizza even before
questioning told police) he was sure
their being there
had to do with the girl
on Craigslist it
request she would pay